We are free in the moment. The moment is not the past nor is it the future. The breath anchors us to the present because the breath is always in the moment.

This moment sees full freedom of choice.

It is pure potential for limitless creativity.

It is free of the subject and the object – a formless flow of pure energy.

This very first edition of Creative Regeneration is dedicated to artists. As an artist, I often struggle with the commodification of art in general and have to keep reminding myself that I am not merely creating consumer products with my work. Art is a process of deep change and a lifelong commitment to beauty. It is a way to form genuine connections and communicate life experience with other human beings. It is a path in itself and not simply an ego-stroking mechanism or a way to make money.

Here are some different ways you can think about art to help revive your creative practice:

1. Art as spiritual practice that leads to a fuller inner life. Art as nourishment for the soul and a way to exercise it’s capabilities.

2. Art as a process. The result is irrelevant. Focus on how it opens you up, gets you comfortable with yourself, keeps you in a state of flow. Treat the experience itself as more important than the final physical product.

3. Art as thought direction. Focussed attention on something beautiful habituates our mind to better recognize more and more beauty.

4. Art as not-thinking: pure immersion in a state of flow. Experiencing the universe: being one with it as a conscious observer-participant.

5. Art as connection to source. Bringing awareness and energy into the present moment: consciously, beautifully.

6. Art as a tool to develop feeling. Using art to develop our lives as experiences that we sense and feel our way through, rather than overthink.

7. Art as a bridge between worlds. Art links the physical and the ethereal. The artist is effectively a shaman facilitating communication between both these worlds – bringing spirit into matter. (An idea from the inspiring Asha Beta)

8. Art as a visualization tool. Create the reality you want to see on paper (or in pixels) and take action to make it come to life.

Life simply is.

On some level I am grateful for everything – even the experience of pain, when I am able to learn from it. Then I can accept it – what else can I do? I’m happy for the experience of living. The constant hum of my mind analyzing, processing, figuring things out. The flow of creativity. The fire in my heart that is beyond fear.

But there’s something in me that stops down this flow from time to time. I get stuck in fear from the past and anxiety about futures that may never be. I start to worry what others think of me and whether I am sharing too much or too little. I begin to feel guilty for the good things that I do have. Being around certain personality types definitely exacerbates this sort of thinking, as do certain activities. I start to fear rejection to the point that I no longer move. I start to regret everything. I start to consider playing it safe and compromising. I get jaded.

This is a very strange and often difficult world to live in.

It’s a world that can and will break you. No matter what you do, it’s not all going to be smooth sailing. There is great suffering and great injustice and there are a billion reasons to hide – from yourself, from chaos, from the wider world. If you want, you can hide forever behind elaborate masks and a lifetime’s worth of excuses.

You will be hurt. That is a given. But what will you do with your pain?

There are times that I’ve soared above everything I’ve ever known. There are also times that I’ve crashed into the deepest depths of what I am able to feel. I’m finding that being an artist means constantly putting your whole heart on the line. You give yourself fully to a world that can spit on you, reject you and trample on what you call most sacred. However, an openness to life and a willingness to be vulnerable is crucial – hiding from life is not an option for those who want to live fully.

The most mysterious thing I’ve discovered is this: when I allow it to, my pain opens me up.

So, I’m learning to be in this world but not of it. Putting all my life energy into my work, while not letting my entire sense of self-worth hinge on society’s perception of me, I’m releasing my attachment to what I do. I realize that I do receive immediate returns: I experience true joy and bliss when I create or share my art. I often know that I am doing meaningful work that relates directly to my life’s purpose. I am always developing creatively, intellectually and spiritually and I have become sensitive to how this being (that I so oddly refer to as my ‘self’) develops. I begin to understand this life form that I am consciously aware of: this body that I have been given for this one beautiful experience within the space-time continuum.

I’m starting to see the pieces of the puzzle come together and I’m starting to appreciate that there are aspects of reality so completely beyond what we are currently conscious of, that words for these do not yet exist and perhaps never will.

I’m learning to accept the reality of pain.

Pain exists. It’s inevitable that I will sometimes be naturally disappointed when things do not work out the way I want them to. It’s alright (and sometimes even a necessary step in terms of growth) to cry and to momentarily feel as if all is lost. I have learned to accept this pain as part of my path and an unavoidable part of life. Being idealistic does not mean that one is above reality. It does not mean you have to be a perfect example of joy 100% of the time. For many people, this is neither desirable nor possible. However, doing just as much as you can to live your ideals really does count for a lot.

Being idealistic means that you cultivate a real and living connection to what you love and this love lights you up from within. There will certainly be times when every cell in your body is possessed by feelings of worthlessness, but you’ll always have the silent awareness that there is something else. For me, this something else is what makes me realize that there is more to life than even my greatest pain. It’s a hint of some unseen mystery, or hidden potential. It helps me understand that as a living being, I exist even beyond my own ideas of who I am.

This is a direct connection to life itself.

A reminder that no matter what happens to this body, and no matter how the confines of this limited body’s sense perception may make it seem, there is a greater reality that I am a part of. And this I is quite different from me. This I is not a person. It is not a self-concept. It is energy, consciousness, life itself. I realize that it is only here that there is any true sense of stability. I am beginning to suspect that this point, this anchor, is not of this world – just in it.

It is from this perspective that I am truly grateful for the entire experience of being alive.

Consider the infinite possibilities that the universe contains.
Imagine planets and otherworldly societies as yet undiscovered.

Consider the age of the known universe.
Imagine eternity.

Consider the myriad differences in human cultures across countries.
Imagine vast, untouched natural landscapes with little or no human presence.

Consider that the Earth and the human body are mostly composed of water.
Imagine endless oceans, the sky touching the sea.

Consider the emergence of life in a universe that seems silent to the post-industrial mind.
Imagine that the entire universe is life and is simply waiting for us to realize this.

Awaken.

It’s commonly said that it’s very hard to be an artist.

It’s not so much that this path is ‘hard’ but that it requires a complete transformation of the kind of socialized beliefs that most of us grow up with. One has to give up common ideas of how the world works, and open oneself up to new ideas. Learn new systems and new ways of being.

I’ve learned to let go of egotistical motivations, understand myself emotionally, focus on what I love and set my sights beyond all current knowledge.

I’ve learned that the truest freedom occurs when the individual breaks completely from the herd and learns to think for herself.

I’ve learned that we are all interconnected and that collaboration is worth so much more than competition. That relationships can (and should) be mutually beneficial, with both parties gaining more together than they could alone. That work is sacred – my gift to the universe, to life. That my interaction with the surrounding environment doesn’t have to be an extractive, exploitative and imbalanced one. That it can be regenerative and healing.

I’ve learned that I’m far from perfect – that all human beings are inherently ‘flawed’ in the traditional sense – but that this is a kind of perfection in itself. We’re conscious beings of great complexity. Even our own ideas about ourselves sometimes don’t even come close to articulating our full potential!

I’ve learned that I don’t have to walk around with several lifetimes worth of guilt. That I am free here and now and that taking pleasure in life is not wrong – it is in fact desirable.

We are here to enjoy this universe, to enjoy being in whatever way we can.

Being on this path is difficult at times, of course, but I do think that sort of difficulty is inherent in life. It helps us grow. Giving up old habits that do not work can be challenging – but the ultimate result is always joy and greater freedom. It’s so much more difficult being on a path with no heart – one that does not take the expansion of the human experience into account.

The practice of art has transformed me – it’s led me to question the fundamentals of what it means to be human. It’s brought me back to myself, after almost a lifetime of forgetting… though in my heart somewhere, I always knew.

Early last week, I relaunched Regenerate in a brand new, more easily-navigable form. For the longest time, I ran this blog on the Manifest theme – a minimalist single-column design with a focus on pure content. The idea behind this was that people are so bombarded every single day by a rather noisy visual culture that I wanted visitors to my blog to be able to relax, slow down and concentrate. I wanted to leave space for their thoughts and reflections.

That motivation still informs this new move forward. Although the writing on this blog chronicles my personal experiences with self-reflection, I want to offer my visitors the experience of self-exploration themselves. This blog is about my life and thoughts, but the reason it exists here is really for a wider purpose: it is my attempt to connect with other human beings on the most honest and pure level that I know – through sharing my personal experience and philosophies of life.

Nearest and dearest to me is my experience of life. I think the greatest thing we have to offer each other (apart from love) is not mere monetary exchange, nor goods, but perspective and a more complete understanding of reality through compassionate exchange. Regenerate is a move to forge a personal connection with readers through discussing ‘big’ concerns like meaning and purpose in a ‘small’ (personal/subjective/non-authoritative) way.

Regenerate (and the entire silentinfinite.com project) is also a move to create a new culture. A culture built on love, self-expression, collaboration and sharing. A culture based on the sheer depth, diversity and awe-inspiring nature of the human experience. Given the context of how the mainstream media and corporate culture operate in the 21st century, I believe that this is a revolutionary and important concept.

I was born, raised and lived my life for 25 years in what is essentially a corporate police state: a nation run like a business, with all mass media owned by the government (and used specifically to serve their agenda) and no freedom of expression or assembly. I spent most of my life in a classic science-fiction dystopia – Zamyatin’s We made flesh. In a homogenous culture, people tend to believe very strongly that there is only one way of life. Where I used to live, individual creative expression is anathema and punished through the education system from a young age. I was bitter about having to live there for a very long time. It is only after a difficult move to New York City that I’m grateful to be able to draw lessons from living in a repressive state. It has made me realize how truly important the struggle for free expression is.

We must express our true nature every chance we get. We must be certain of our ideals and live them. We cannot conform to a status quo that makes us miserable, or prevents us from living a deeply fulfilling life, simply out of convenience. I believe that if we are to truly have a social revolution then it must begin with being. We must become conscious of how we want to live. Do we want to live as slaves or free human beings? Do we value comfort or self-actualization? We have to decide for ourselves and construct lives that reflect these decisions in a powerful way.

I believe that no earthly force can truly come in the way of a being ready to consciously evolve. Human beings can delay progress, but they can never bring it to a complete halt. The freedom I encountered on the internet was absolutely instrumental in my intellectual, emotional, spiritual and creative development. Since I decided to pursue a life based on love and creativity in 2007, my life began to flourish. It lit up from inside with a sense of true purpose. A life lived merely conforming to social codes could never bring me joy like this.

Regenerate began as a personal journal to document this flourishing, this transformation of my consciousness. But the very fact of it being public makes it so much more than a simple document: it is also an invitation. It is my way of reaching out to say: I’ve had these experiences, have you? So, I want to hear from you, dear reader/visitor/fellow earthling. I’m interested in where our similarities lie, in what your ideals and dreams are and in how we can collaborate to make these a reality. For the internet is something awesome we have right now that enables us to connect with each other and create the world we want. In our hands it is a powerful tool to give us leverage against those that prefer a silent, compliant, homogenous humanity. Its very structure speaks to decentralization and collaboration – it is truly our medium. We can use it to facilitate emancipation from a system completely uninterested in human progress and we can use it to create new realities.

In short, I want to change the world. But I think it’s a lot more important that we change the world together.

I am not defined by my participation in this economy.
I am not defined by the colour of my skin.
I am not defined by the society I was born in, or the society I live in now.
I am not defined by the goods I consume.
I am not defined by the cultural group my genetics associates me with.
I am not defined by my gender.

I am defined by my thoughts, my concepts of reality, my choices, my philosophy of life, what love means to me, my reactions to the world around me.

I am consciousness – I perceive and assign meaning.

I am no longer afraid.

I hope to show in my pictures the beauty of ordinary life and of first-hand experience.

I have been assaulted in my lifetime by images. These images have dictated to me what I ‘should’ be and what I ‘should’ aspire to. My work is a collective rejection of these ideas of others who do not have my best interests at heart.

I see my own work as deeply life-affirming because my work is essentially the best and most beautiful parts of my own life and my experience as a human being. Perhaps there is nothing classically ‘outstanding’ about it – I do not have a fantastic social status or a lot of money, nor am I a widely-celebrated intellectual or artist.

But I exist – I breathe and I live. This mere ability to exist and experience is, to me, a wonderful, beautiful thing. It is a great mystery to me, that I can see, hear, touch, feel, experience. It is a mystery that I will keep exploring until my life is over.

I want to encourage people to live their own lives and to search for their own unique meaning and purpose for living. We are part of the collective but we are not bound to all living the same template existence. We are certainly not here simply to be workers and to consume. Each and every one of us has the power and the right to live a life that we find meaningful and beautiful. What we do not have the right to do is to impinge upon the freedoms of other human beings.

My upbringing hugely influences my work because it has caused me to reject everything that Singaporean culture stands for – conformity, obedience and veneration of authority.

Singapore is a very difficult entity to understand and I constantly revise my views on it. I also have to admit that I am afraid to say what I truly think and feel about the country and the way that it is run online – because where I was brought up, freedom of speech and expression are not rights that you have. Perhaps this behaviour reflects what my life in Singapore has been like for me. It has largely been a life lived in fear of other human beings and how they might hurt me.

It has made me realize that we desperately need new ways of relating to each other. Somebody has to start something somewhere, even if everybody is too afraid to begin. So, I try my best.

In my work I want to show how beautiful day-to-day existence can be. Life, I believe, is truly the ultimate art form. Life is meant to be beautiful. A strange thing is happening on planet Earth, where despite us living in the first world in relative comfort and security we do not feel this way at all. Most of us are constantly living in fear.

I want to take back the power that I believe is my birthright – the power to create my own reality. The right to live a life that is meaningful and beautiful to me. I do not believe that one is born to suffer. On the contrary, I believe we are given this gift of life to understand and know the universe and to actualize our full potential as human beings. I believe we are given this life to love and to be loved. We have the conscious choice and ability to choose the aspects of ourselves that we want to develop or bring forth.

I believe in the power of photography and the power of art to aid us by giving physicality to our dreams.

The final box of prints arrived from Singapore today. I originally made these for sale to other people, but now I use them for myself.

I often wonder if other people can see what went into these images. A voice in my head representing ‘society’ and any formal education in the visual arts that I’ve had tells me ‘no’. It arrives at this conclusion by comparing these images technically and aesthetically to those of other far more accomplished artists. But another part of me – one that is more innocent, vital and far dearer to me than the voice of society – reminds me that I cannot relate to most of the images that are ‘approved’ by society – if not intellectually, then in terms of how commercially-viable these images are.

I’m starting to think pretty reflectively about my experiences of the last 2.5 years. Many of my experiences from the end of 2007 to mid 2010 have finally reached full term and are solidifying into realizations. This was the most concentrated period of self-discovery and inner change I’d ever experienced in all of my 25 years on this planet and in this body.

I muted almost everything else in my life and focussed on self-knowledge, to the best of my ability. I focussed deeply on creating and on making art that first and foremost would make myself happy. Without going into too much detail, I will say that at the end of 2007, I found myself living a life that no longer resembled my innermost in any way that I could recognize. In fact, it stood for everything I was so profoundly against and I knew I had to end that way of life one way or another. I desperately wanted to live on my own terms and decide for myself what I found meaningful and what I wanted to devote my life to – rather than bend to the whims of some external authority.

In these 2.5 years I made about a billion mistakes. Some were very painful and still hurt – but all were important lessons that I can more or less make peace with. I’ve derived learning from everything and I love myself now truly and so much more than I ever have. I respect myself as an expression of the mysterious life energy that none of us fully understand but which sustains and animates this planet, the Sun and every being in the entire universe.

This experience I have of me, of I, is the my closest encounter with this life energy. The most beautiful thing, I think, about being human is that I can question and consider my existence and the circumstances of it. I can wonder, speculate and study this experience of I and try to understand what it means to be self-conscious of being alive.

What does it mean to be? Somehow that is such an incredibly beautiful question to me. Even if I never get to find out the answer (though I have the suspicion that the experience of death offers answers to questions like these) I feel like living life within the context of this question makes life that much more beautiful, miraculous. It’s this perspective with which I intend to live my life, because this is what I find most meaningful.

So, when I look at these images, which have been described by other people much more educated than myself in matters of culture and the art world as “nothing special” and something that “anyone can do” – that’s certainly not what I see: I see life itself. I see my own way of seeing, my own perspective and my direct experience. I see my pain and the struggle to see beauty in even that. I see the first winter I ever experienced after twenty-five years of living in the tropics (like a new reality finding it’s way into me), the first man I ever loved so wholly and intensely (and who was able to return this love), the first time I decided to think for myself outside the culturally-defined boundaries that others warned me never to transgress… I see my own development as a life form. I see life expanding itself – constantly, tirelessly and in spite of so much pain. I see self-awareness arising and growing.

I keep these images in my window now to remind me of where I have been, and to remind me that I am more than whatever I can imagine at this point in time. That I have unseen, untapped potential and the ability to grow exponentially and alter my reality beyond perceived limits at any point I choose.

Most importantly, they remind me that this experience of living first-hand – this direct contact with life itself – is absolutely precious.

“We don’t know about you, but we’re sick of veneers. In a world where we’re constantly instructed to self-censor, silence ourselves, and swallow the taboo notions, raw self-expression is hard to come by. Modern society thrives on the absurdity of apathy, and anyone with the human conditions of curiosity, passion and diversity is a stray by default.

MonkeyMask is our way of saying ‘No’ to the ugly faces of social expectations, inherent boundaries, and the corporate culture. We’re protesting the collective masquerade, the clones marching to the same beat of the drum. We want miscellany, not conformity…

All submissions are anonymous. We want to shatter inhibitions by letting our contributors explore their own talents, push makeshift boundaries until there are none and dabble in a medium they are wary of, or unfamiliar with. Go ahead and get out of your comfort zone. It’s not like you have anything to lose.”

MonkeyMask wants art from your heart and is now accepting submissions.