regenerate

“We don’t know about you, but we’re sick of veneers. In a world where we’re constantly instructed to self-censor, silence ourselves, and swallow the taboo notions, raw self-expression is hard to come by. Modern society thrives on the absurdity of apathy, and anyone with the human conditions of curiosity, passion and diversity is a stray by default.

MonkeyMask is our way of saying ‘No’ to the ugly faces of social expectations, inherent boundaries, and the corporate culture. We’re protesting the collective masquerade, the clones marching to the same beat of the drum. We want miscellany, not conformity…

All submissions are anonymous. We want to shatter inhibitions by letting our contributors explore their own talents, push makeshift boundaries until there are none and dabble in a medium they are wary of, or unfamiliar with. Go ahead and get out of your comfort zone. It’s not like you have anything to lose.”

MonkeyMask wants art from your heart and is now accepting submissions.

The Laughing Heart

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

– Charles Bukowski

Beautiful poem originally seen on Coilhouse.

• Dynomighty Design’s Mighty Wallets!

These are ingenious for travellers – because they don’t look like wallets at all! However, they’re fantastic for other reasons as well: they’re eco-friendly – printed with environmentally-friendly ink, 100% recyclable and made from 25% recycled material (they’re made from a tear-resistant, stain-resistant material called Tyvek which is also used to make envelopes). Nifty idea. I like their magnetic jewellery made from Rare Earth magnets too. Also, everything is reasonably priced.

• Paul Stamets on 6 ways mushrooms can save the world.

Also check out his article Earth’s Natural Internet.

• “The best way to fight a sick system is to get out.”
Read this article about sick systems. Then read about Qualities That Keep You in a Sick System (surprising and hopeful) and Thoughts on the Tenacity of Sick Systems. Much thanks to @ClopenSet for finding these articles!

Received this beautiful dress in the mail earlier this week and I love it so. So, in anticipation of the launch of Coilhouse #05, I took this photo. Issue 05 was just launched earlier today (well, in Singapore time) and you can check it out and buy it here. I don’t know how they manage to do it, but they keep  outdoing themselves every time. I love Coilhouse – always stunning photography, words and graphic design. Inspiring on so many levels and truly authentic and alternative in a rare and beautiful way.

Thoughts of New Hope, PA in the last few days. It’s very quickly become one of my favourite places that I’ve ever visited. Images taken on April 4th, 2010.

Empower (part 2)

“Only the heart knows the correct answer. Most people think the heart is mushy and sentimental. But it’s not. The heart is intuitive; it’s holistic, it’s contextual, it’s relational. It doesn’t have a win-lose orientation. It taps into the cosmic computer – the field of pure potentiality, pure knowledge, and infinite organizing power – and takes everything into account. At times it may not even seem rational, but the heart has a computing ability that is far more accurate and far more precise than anything within the limits of rational thought.”

- Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

Empower (part 1)

Oh hay! Look! I’ve gone and resurrected this from the dead.

I stopped writing Chrysalis for a long time because, although it did have a positive effect on how I lived my daily life (just having that daily commitment to self-development really changed the way I perceived situations) – it was starting to feel really forced. There were enough things in my life that I ‘had’ to do – I didn’t want my blog to be one of them! But today, I finally feel like it’s the right time to start this up again. Why?

Mainly because I really need to maintain focus at this point of my life.

Coming back to Singapore has been a thoroughly frustrating experience. After just 3 months in New York City, there were so many conveniences and freedoms that I actually got used to. Coming back here I’ve had to face one fact of physical reality – limitation.

Form implies limitation. It’s a fact of the universe and just something we have to deal with. Since coming back I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face with limitation. Everything in Singapore reminds me of my shortcomings and weaknesses – firstly, I find a lot of people to be extremely negative, rude and difficult to deal with, and my interaction with this culture is frustrating at best. I could go on forever (oh believe me, I’m not even kidding about this, I’ve gone on for over a decade at this point), but I learned something important just before I left for America alone for the first time in 2009: harping on what doesn’t work doesn’t actually help me or improve my life.

When you’re in a really bad situation – it’s absolutely imperative that you need to improve your situation.

Life is short – and personally I don’t want to spend my life being stuck in a negative mood. I have to make it clear that I’m not one of those positive-thinking fundamentalists. Recent experiences have taught me that certain negative experiences are important, because you learn from them too and it’s important not to be avoidant about things you’re afraid of. That said, what I’m trying to say is this: Given the choice, I do not want to remain stuck or trapped in a state of being that saps my energy.

I decided at some point in the past that I want to spend most of my life in constructive action. I want to create. Most recently I realized that I want to empower myself.

I’m really tired of letting a country and culture that I find to be extremely negative sap my strength. I want to focus on building up and mainly on feeling good about myself as a person. I love myself and I like to abide in this state of love and appreciation. I know, deep down, that no matter what any human being says, I have a right to live exactly the way that I want to, as long as my intentions are not malicious.

In this sense, living in a place like Singapore can truly be the ultimate test of character. I want to utilize this negative environment to build myself up rather than simply allowing it to break me down as it has been doing my entire life.

05 February 2010 @ 08:33 pm:

I am not going to feel sorry for myself anymore simply because my task appears so difficult. Difficulty is always an opportunity to grow. You get from life exactly what you give out. I am just going to use this opportunity to grow and to become better and to feel more fully alive. I will make it through and I will achieve success. And ultimately I have control over my own happiness and how I react to what happens around me. I can always make any situation better through this way of thinking.

Here are some videos about a public meditation event I attended in NYC in March. It was such an intense experience! We met at the Port Authority station (seriously, of all places!). Probably the worst environment in which to meditate but hey, I guess that was the point.

It made me aware of all the background energy in life (other people’s thoughts and feelings, people rushing around everywhere), that we just kind of screen out – or at least we think we do. I am aware that cities are generally not happy places. It is important to know that we are affected by other people around us – I feel like it is important to be aware of this. So in a way, even though the Port Authority was really the best place to meditate – because it really forced you to focus, over and over again.

When you attain peace of mind in such an environment it is extremely empowering. You receive with it the knowledge that you can rise above almost anything and find the still point in so much movement. It is actually quite beautiful then, to watch everybody scurrying about; only when you’re aware of how much stress is involved in the situation (when you’re not immune to it but you actually observe it), can you really observe the motion of the universe. You gain a certain objectivity – and you can just watch things with interest and let them be. That’s the impression that I’m left with at least, writing this months later.

Here’s another video of Mai-Kim speaking about the public meditation event (before it happened) and her experience with meditation in general.

The event was organized by The Interdependence Project. I attended two sessions of their Heartcore Dharma series (seriously, how cute is that name?!?) and absolutely loved it. They’re a very inspiring and high-energy group to be around, and if you’re in the NYC area do check them out!

20th April 2010:

I’m trying to make sense of my experiences in New York City and of how my life has changed and progressed in general since the last major turning point I experienced in 2007.

I constantly feel friction between these 3 perspectives of reality:

- the world I experienced as a child
- the world I’ve been conditioned to experience
- the new world that is emerging

The world through the eyes of my childhood I hold to be the truest reality.

Everything since then seems like a departure from a worldview that was perfectly enabling for growth. I’m suddenly reminded of watching a child colour a colouring book at JFK airport yesterday. I kept thinking to myself “God this kid’s motor skills are so bad”, but I noticed that she kept colouring with attention and dignity. I realized the importance of being in that space of pure attention (I feel that now as I write this). I constantly beat myself up for not being ‘good enough’ and while I think it’s good to know where you can improve, I prefer the state of firsthand creation and experience to sizing myself up and worrying about how I appear to others.

When I was a child I marveled at everything – I could discern ego very easily and see through silly mental prejudices that limit people’s ability to realize their own potential.

I had a good idea of my place in the universe – I felt neither separate nor threatened by the rest of the cosmos and wanted to learn as much about it as I could.

The world existed as it did. There were few values. This was the world before duality.

The cultural viewpoint of the world that I’ve been conditioned to experience is what currently frustrates me the most. I perceive it as extremely limiting and I constantly work to transcend this and find for myself a viewpoint that frees me up mentally and enables me to lead a fulfilling life.

At some point in my life I tried really hard to conform to what I felt was expected of me as an Asian child, a Singaporean citizen and a university student. That approach brought me only intense suffering – and the knowledge that I really do know what is good for myself and what I need to grow.

I am the only person that has lived my life and so only I can make the defining decisions for my well-being. I can no longer accept an external definition of who I am – because such definitions are limiting and incomplete at best.

I feel like functioning from one cultural viewpoint is not possible at all for me anymore and I constantly face anxiety if I will ever be able to find reciprocation in Singaporean society. My experiences with this society have been largely negative so far – but I am tired of telling the same stories over and over.

Maybe it is now possible to create something new. Maybe I can find it in myself to lead a life in Singapore in the meantime that will enable me to move on to something better in another part of the world that I can truly call home.

The new world that is emerging is the perspective that excites me the most. I combine my initial wonder at the phenomena of life and the universe itself with my ability to navigate reality.

In the new world there will be congruence – I am able to fully express who I am and add to the external world as a unique individual regardless of whether my surrounding environment is supportive or not. I create freely and realize the reality and importance of the creative mind and the imagination.

I am fully aware (and never negligent) of purpose and the things that are good for my soul. I am fully self-reliant – I find a center of peace within that is independent of any and all external change.

I am constantly involved in moving further into the unknown because I love the rush and spontanaeity of action involved in this movement. I realize and understand that life is not just about traversing known paths over and over – but also in seeking the new.

The universe is constantly expanding and we are the agents of this expansion. We are the frontier, we are the bleeding edge. We are here to constantly experience change – death and renewal. I embrace this movement and this growth and I remember that the things that matter most – things like love and the sense that everything is always working out for the best – are the things that can never be taken away from me.

At this point I don’t believe that even death will separate me from love. I sometimes fantasize that perhaps death is that which strips us completely of whatever is limiting us from experiencing true, unending love and joy. Maybe then death is the next evolutionary step in the development of that within us that is beyond the body, and perhaps it only occurs when we are finally ready to relinquish this world and take that step.

I’m far from done here. I want, still, to love life fully and truly with a whole heart. I want to be immersed in the contrast and choose progressiveness. I want to be brave in the face of darkness. I want to know life, and to communicate all knowledge and experience that I gain to others. And then (and only then) at the end of it all, then I would like to die. Because I am curious to see what lies behind this curtain from which there is no certain return.