regenerate

Greyfriars Kirk, Scotland

Love doesn’t hurt – it’s certain conditioned thoughts and feelings that crop up in association with it that really do. Like the idea that it might never happen again, or that I don’t deserve it, or that it will be taken away from me soon. It’s those beliefs that really hurt me.

Leaving Manhattan

Like when I think about those really perfect times I had in New York – I’m not depressed thinking about them, in fact I feel really invigorated and inspired that I actually experienced such amazing things in my life. But I get really upset when the thought occurs to me that I might never experience those things again. And that’s really such a ridiculous thought. Why would I not continue to experience wonderful things in life?

So it’s really these strange, associated thoughts which accompany every thought or feeling of joy, happiness or love. These conditioned beliefs and patterns which crop up saying “this won’t last” or “this is too good to be true”. These are the beliefs I let go of more and more every day.

I know love. I have always known it. And my life will continue to be full of it. Because it is a really a decision more than anything else – to open up and let it flow through me. Because life expands outward and there is no going back. There is only further expansion into more and more – more of the universe, more of love, more of God.