regenerate

Something feels right about North America. I don’t know what it is – it’s just something in the air.

Transiting in Japan is interesting – you move even farther East and then you finally end up in the West. You’re able to compare more effectively both societies & how they function because the experience is so stark and different. I will never belong in Asia. Something just doesn’t click. Here something feels right. Something in my heart is settled. I can’t believe I made this trip alone. How did I manage to convince myself to do it? I know it was right in my heart but… wow. I’m just really amazed.

I’m experiencing this new level of solitude that I’ve never felt before. But I’m not lonely. Something clicks and I feel this city will take care of me. Arriving in JFK was great, very smooth. The flight over the Pacific Ocean was as I feared – very turbulent. Well actually it varied between extremely smooth with many, many pockets of turbulence. I hardly slept or ate – maybe a few mouthfuls of food and a few hours in 24 hours. When I got here I immediately took a cab to my hostel and came here & slept for 11 hours.

Spoke to the girl working at the counter who is Haitian and living in Queens all her life. Cannot believe how diverse this place is, just from what I’ve seen so far. Also, the US border guards were really diverse as compared to Orlando. That made me feel better. I need to be in a diverse society. Both in terms of race as well as ideology. I cannot live in Japan. I could conceivably live in London, but I think I wouldn’t be very happy. But you know, I think this is it. My third time on this continent and I just know in my heart of hearts that I have to be here. I don’t know why. It’s not rational. It is in fact all about energy. The energy here is right for me.

Christ, I’m starving! It’s 4:31am. I’ve been awake since 12:30am. I went to bed at about 2pm. I’m really jetlagged but I don’t feel sick which is great. I’m excited. I’m going to check out Times Square and eat a lot tomorrow. And call Pat. I’m happy. I believe I’ve come home. Finally. I knew that from the second I landed at JFK.